I’ve felt worse the last few days than during treatment. How can that be?

My understanding is that the radiation is cumulative and is still working long after the sessions are over. That’s the reason the doctors don’t do the physical exam and other tests right away. I have an appointment in mid April with the surgeon to determine what comes next. Next? I thought this was it. We’ll see.

Anyway, I’m spending my days alternating between sleep, reading, watching movies, blogging, writing my ebook on cancer, and sitting on my front porch wrapped in a fleece blanket on my LaFuma chair (I purchased it for doing Reflexology). Oh, I can’t wait to get back to doing more active things.

I spent most of yesterday writing the book. I felt really good about getting so much accomplished and then I couldn’t sleep last night. I’ve been troubled with insomnia off and on with the cancer treatment (and some before, due to who knows what?).

Maybe my doctor will be able to give me an idea about how long I’ll be feeling this way so I can prepare myself for it.

On Sunday, I went for a walk on the road where we take our dogs. I didn’t make it very far and was quite a slow poke, but it felt really good to get out and move. It’s the small things we (I) often take for granted that I now appreciate more than ever.

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Today was the last day of radiation treatment . . . yahoo, yay, and yip, yip, yippee!!! (Can you tell I’m excited?)

It means my butt will now heal and I can eventually get back to a normal routine and just being more of who I am.

There are a few projects on my plate as a result of the insights I’ve gained from this illness.

One of the projects is an ebook on cancer and specifically the type I had (I’m being optimistic that the chemo and radiation have done their job). It will help those going through the same treatment to be prepared for what to expect, as well as their family members. Look for it to be available on my blog in the next few weeks.

Thank you to all of my friends and family who’ve been such a great support over the course of my treatment. You’ve shown my so much love and compassion and it’s been my honor to have you in my life. You know I’ll be there for you when you need me.

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During my illness and treatment for anal cancer that love has shown up as not-so-random acts of kindness committed by not only my friends and family, but also total strangers. I say “not-so-random” because I know that we are all vehicles for God’s love. Spirit speaks to us all differently and sometimes in very suble ways.

My sisters made plans immediately to come and be with us when they heard the news. It seems like a lifetime ago that they were here. They did things for me like making the slip cover for my sofa and driving me to my appointments. They were also very gracious in “letting” me cook and do things when I felt like it instead of insisting on doing everything themselves. There’s a fine balance between being taken care of and doing things for yourself. They danced it with grace.

When my daughter, Jessie found out about my illness she was naturally very upset. She started crocheting a hat for me in case I lost my hair due to chemo. It didn’t turn out exactly as she wanted so made a purse out of it instead. While at a Christmas party with her boyfriend’s family, she made little cards with inspirational quotes on one side and hand drawn illustrations on the other. When everyone saw what she was doing they all joined in and created the most beautiful and unique gift I’ve received. I was so touched by the love I feel when I open that little pouch and think of all those wonderful Souls getting together to do something to help me feel better. I’ve never met any of them, yet and hope to thank them in person.

My local friends call, send cards, and visit. A couple of them come out on a weekly basis to help me make applesauce or just visit. They also do energy work with me which has been so helpful. It brings a sense of peace and relaxation. What I find so endearing is that they’re thanking me for letting them come and be of service in that way. Those are great friends!

Then there are my online friends from around the world. As a result of my online business ventures, I’ve met people from all over the world. When I told one friend from Australia about my illness, he asked permission to notify some of our mutual friends. It wasn’t but a matter of a few hours before I started getting visits from several of them leaving comments on my blog to let me know that I’m in their thoughts.

A couple of weeks ago I was in the waiting room at the radiology office waiting to see the doctor. The lady next to me and I struck up a conversation. It turned out that she was driving her next door neighbor in for her radiation treatments a couple of times a week (That’s a great neighbor!)  and we happen to be neighbors ourselves. I have to mention that we live about 40 minutes out of town, so it was quite a coincidence (not). She was remarking on how much she liked the skirt I was wearing and I said that it was one of the most comfortable things I have to wear (because of where the cancer is located, skirts are the most convenient and comfortable clothing). She mentioned that she sews and could probably make another skirt for me just from using my skirt as a pattern. Mary Lee offered to go buy the fabric and have the skirt ready for me in a few days. My first inclination was to graciously decline, but the inner voice said to accept this gift of love. Now why is that so hard for many of us? Mary Lee came by with the new skirt, some home made chicken noodle soup and some home grown ground beef and sausauge. She has a farm at the end of the road we live on. Her gifts so touched my heart. I hope you know people like her; the people in her life are truly blessed.

The staff at the radiology department where I receive treatment have been so good to me. They are friendly, understanding, and compassionate. I watch them with the other patients and it’s the same for everyone they treat. For a short period of time we see these people on a daily basis and they become part of our lives. When I’ve completed my treatment this week, they will be the only thing I’ll miss.

And, then there’s my husband, Hugh. His sense of humor, untiring patience with this process, and love have been my strength. He makes sure I’m always comfortable, takes care of the housekeeping, lots of the cooking, and our four-legged kids. He’s the best husband anyone could dream of.

There are times I am so overwhelmed with the acts of kindness shown me that it brings me to tears.

With love & gratitude,

Theresa

The radiation staff at the hospital I go to for treatment has been very supportive. I’ve been so touched by their compassion. My radiologist has been open to my questions and suggestions for complementary therapies.

There will be follow up visits with both the radiologist and the oncologist, as well as tests to determine that the cancer has been cured. I expect a very good outcome and am so grateful to see the end of treatment.

Thank you to all who’ve visited and left comments. I’ll keep you posted with the expected good news.

Love & Gratitude,

Theresa

The only thing I’ve done on my own to help myself heal are the Spiritual Exercises of ECK and the Healing Codes. I have done the Spiritual Exercises every day for over 25 years as part of my spiritual path to a higher consciousness. A few weeks before I was diagnosed with cancer I received an email (from some list I’m on) talking about a stress reduction program that activates a physical function in the body to remove stress.

In 1998, Dr. Bruce Lipton, a cellular biologist at Stanford University Medical School, clinically proved that 95% of all problems arise from one thing: stress.

I thought this would be an ideal program for my husband and his heart issues; as it turns out, it was the perfect program for me. My husband ordered the Healing Codes program for me just before I started the chemo and radiation treatment for anal cancer. I am so grateful for this because between the Spiritual Exercises of ECK and the Healing Codes I have been able to remain in balance emotionally throughout the treatments. Of course, there have been tears and pain. That’s normal. I don’t feel overwhelmed with grief or doubt that I’ll recover.

The way The Healing Codes work is that they remove the stress by healing cellular memories.

The Healing Codes reduce stress, heal cellular memories, angers, resentments, and achieve a sense of gratitude, love and respect for your self. Codes are not created for a disease. They are created to remove stress related memories at the cellular level, whether you are aware of them or not.

There is an indirect relation of The Healing Codes with almost all the diseases because 95% of illness is due to stress. That’s why we are targeting stress which is the root cause of almost all the diseases.

Once you have successfully addressed the stress that is hampering your immune system it begins to function the way it was designed to and can heal almost anything.

There are so many people suffering with the side effects of cancer treatment wondering why they have to go through this illness and it’s often devastating effects on their lives. The question I ask is “What can I learn from this experience?”

I just wanted to share something that is working for me. If you want to learn more about the Healing Codes there is a Teleseminar Series featuring Dr. Alex Loyd and Dr. Ben Johnson on Wednesday’s at 2:00pm EST for one hour.

New Teleseminar phone number: Call in # 712 432-8773 and the Access Code: 111888 #

Love & Gratitude,
Theresa

I’ve had about three weeks off from radiation treatment to allow my skin to heal. I won’t go into the unpleasantries, but suffice it to say it’s like receiving a severe burn where your skin peels. Ice packs and pain medication have been very helpful and create their own problems. It’s just something you have to endure.

I am learning to listen to what my body needs. A couple of weeks ago when I had blood drawn at the oncologists office my platelets and red blood cell count was very low. There was talk of needing shots to increase the RBC’s and platelets (at a cost of about $1,000 per shot). Just prior to learning what my lab results were, I told my husband that I was craving prime rib. That’s very unusual for me since it’s been 20 years since I’ve eaten red meat on a regular basis. When I asked the doctor what my other options were, she said to start eating red meat. Go figure!

Tuning into what my body is telling me has become increasingly important. I am learning to trust it and respond before being given a “doctor’s order”. There are so many lessons related to this illness and I’m really very grateful for all of them. That’s what this life is about for me . . . learning who I am as Soul and giving and accepting God’s love.

Thank you to all who’ve visited and left comments. I sure appreciate your ongoing support. It’s one of the most difficult challenges I’ve been through.

By the way, I’m keeping a journal and plan on creating an ebook that will hopefully help others going through treatment for cancer.

I’m really doing pretty well with the side effects, so far. The tissue hasn’t started peeling yet, but the doctor says that will likely happen by next week. I will also get to look forward to a few days off to let the skin heal. That doesn’t hurt my feelings, lol. The dietition suggested that I start drinking a product called Juven. It has HGB, L-Glutamine and L-Arginine and helps promote wound heeling. It’s really working well for me as I haven’t had to take but 1/2 of a pain pill in the last week.

My sisters were here from Texas and Alaska for two weeks (with 3 days that overlapped, which worked out nicely). We had a great time together; catching up, watching movies, just being together and they made a slip cover for my sofa. It was a project I had been intending on doing myself, but just hadn’t had the energy for. It turned out so beautiful and looks like I had the sofa reupholstered instead of just slipcovered.

One of the lessons I’ve learned from this experience is how important it is to let the people in your life know how much you love them. I believe that’s a one of the biggest lessons we’re here to learn anyway; how to give and receive love. So, the other side of it is receiving love. It seems like it’s easy to do, but when it comes down to it, how many times do I refuse help from people who care for me because I either don’t want to be a burden or I don’t want to give up my independence. It’s important to allow other people the opportunity to give.

I’ve received many calls and cards in the mail from friends and family. It’s one thing to send warm loving thoughts (which I’m not meaning to diminish at all) and quite another to actually do something physical like sending a card or making a call. We live in a physical world and need those tangible displays of affection. My message is to let people do things for you even if you think you can still do it all for yourself.

My Version Of Rachael Ray’s  Onion Soup

Last night I made  Onion Soup. Since I didn’t have some of the ingredients Rachael’s recipe called for I improvised. That’s actually how I cook anyway. Sometimes I follow a recipe and most of the time I make it up as I go along. Mine turned out just as good as her’s and just as easy.

6 large onions
2-3 gala apples (cored, peeled, & chopped)
1 bay leaf
Salt and pepper to taste
Italian seasoning (she uses ground thyme)
3 tbsp butter
1 tbsp Newman’s Own Balsamic Salad dressing (instead of balsamic drizzle . .  . whatever that is)
1 quart chicken stock (she uses beef stock . . . I didn’t have any)
2 cups sliced mushrooms (her recipe doesn’t call for mushrooms, but if I can add them to anything, I will)
Garlic bread (my husband came home with already prepared garlic bread from the store instead of baguette . . . guess he didn’t know what I was talking about)
Mozzerella – shredded

Melt the butter over medium heat in a large soup pot and add the onion, bay leaf, ground thyme, salt and pepper. Cook the onion until soft, about 20 minutes.

Add the apples, balsamic dressing, chicken stock, and cook for another 10 minutes.

Arrange the slices of garlic bread on a cooling rack set over a baking sheet and bake for 5-6 minutes. Top the bread with mounds of mozzerella and bake 2 minutes more to melt the cheese.

Serve soup in bowls topped with garlic/cheeze bread.

This was sooo good! It took all of about 30 minutes to prepare and less time to eat, lol.

Losing My Hair

This morning I was running my fingers through my wet hair and came back with a handful of short salt and pepper hair in my hand. I thought it was feeling a bit thinner. Shortly before I started chemo on Dec. 28th I had my hair cut short so that in case I did lose it, the baldness wouldn’t be such a shock. It’s been almost 2 1/2 weeks since chemo and now I’m losing my hair. It’s a good thing I have an extensive hat collection. I’m shedding all over the place. If it turns out that the hair falls out in bunches, I’d rather just go ahead and shave my head rather than have patches of hair missing.

Low White Blood Cells and Platelets

Last week I had my blood drawn and found out that my white blood cell and platelet counts were low. That means there’s an increased risk of infection. My radiologist determined that I should take a break from radiation. That coordinated nicely with my sore bottom. I wasn’t sure how much more I could tolerate, to be honest. I finally gave in and started taking the pain medication she prescribed. Taking 1/2 of a pill every two hours seems to be working better than a whole pill every 4 hours. She suggested that I find the amount and timing that works best for me.

More Naps

Afternoon naps have become part of my daily routine. I don’t seem to have a choice in this matter. Sometime around 2:30 pm my eyes start drooping and I can’t stay awake. I’ve taken to having a snack and a nap just like when I was a kid.

Tomorrow I’ll share some recipes for smoothies and other entrees that seem to agree with my sensitive digestive system.

• Pain or pressure in the anal area
• Blood in the stool or from the anal area (I figured I just had hemmorhoids and waited 2 months before seeing my doctor, learn from my experience)
• Itching in the anal area or a discharge
• Any kind of change in your bowel movements (change in shape and frequency)
• A lump or swelling

Some of these symptoms may not seem all that significant. It’s not like finding a lump in your breast one day and knowing that it’s something really abnormal. Too often people think a little blood in their stool is due to pushing too hard to have a bowel movement or that it’s just “a hemmorrhoid”. It’s a good idea not to self diagnose. Just go have your doctor check it out and you’ll relieve yourself of needless worry (or find out early enough to have a better chance of surviving an aggressive form of cancer).